A Love Letter to My Parents: Reflections on Loss and Legacy

Hello my friends. I hope this newsletter finds you well and curious. TodayI’m going to share something very personal with you. Toward the end of May, I found myself back in California for work when my parents contracted COVID-19. In just over a week, and within a day of each other, both passed away. To say I am stunned is an understatement. These past few weeks have been heavy and intense, yet in their passing, I’ve also experienced a profound sense of gratitude, love and relief. My parents, who lived long, full, and meaningful lives, are now free from the grip of dementia. After over 70 years of marriage and raising five children, imagining them continuing their travels together is beautiful and comforting.

As I stay here in my childhood home, reflecting deeply while going through their things, our things, memories come flooding back. My parents lived here in the little surfer town of my childhood for 62 years. Despite the distress and sadness of the past few years due to their cognitive and physical decline, I am pleasantly surprised by how these memories have so quickly faded into intense gratitude for all the love, support, consistency, and guidance my parents provided, not just to us kids, but to anyone who crossed their paths. Generous of spirit, kind, and loving, my parents created a home that was the neighborhood refuge.

We constantly brought kids home with us after school, raided the fridge, and went about our monkey business. We were not wealthy, but there was always room for one, two, or more at our dinner table. Like any family, we had fights, experienced trauma, and find ourselves with scars. It was by no means perfect, but my parents gave it their all with courage, a dash of youthful ignorance, and the earnestness and good intentions of believers.

The outpouring of love and support from loved ones as word has spread about their passing has been deeply moving. My heart is so full, overflowing, actually. I want to acknowledge my parents and the values they instilled in me: compassion, kindness, love, generosity, humility, diligence, integrity, and fun and play. I want to encourage you too to take a moment to reflect on how these values impact your own life. Do you make space for any or each in some way? They are, funnily enough, essential components to happiness and fulfillment. 

As the funeral approaches, I feel a mix of emotions—tension in my throat, tears welling up, sadness, gratitude, relief, and peace. My tears flow even more freely than before. I send you all infinite love as we navigate this life, together.

With immense gratitude,

Anne